Why Won't Cheerleaders Come Near Me?

from Tits of Steel by Anna Secret Poet

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lyrics

'Why Won’t Cheerleaders Come Near Me?'

I know why there’s thunder and how rainbows are made
And that Lannister’s debts are always paid
I think I know the reason why
The Himalayas are so high

I think I know Meatloaf and Sting’s real name
And all the words to ‘There ain’t nothing like a dame’
I know lot’s of musical terms
That I wish I hadn’t bothered to learn

But there’s one thing I gotta know…
Why won’t cheerleaders come near me?

I know why Americans don’t call tomatoes a fruit
And why you shouldn’t cook a fry up in your birthday suit
I know loads of useless facts
Like the date of birth of Andrew Sachs
(he played Manuel in Fawlty Towers, born 7/4/30)

I know how to say ‘where’s the monkey?’ in french
(ou est le singe?)
And I know who’s responsible for that awful stench
(sorry)
I think I know how to moonwalk
Cos I’ve been watching Michael Jackson like a hawk

But there’s one thing I gotta know…
Why won’t cheerleaders come near me?
Do they think I’m goona steal their pompoms?
Why won’t cheerleaders come near me?
Is it because I look kinda freaky?
Is it because I don't know how to do endings endings endings...

credits

from Tits of Steel, released October 7, 2017
Guitar, Voice: Anna Secret Poet

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about

Anna Secret Poet Glasgow, UK

Anna Secret Poet is a genderfluid singer/songwriter and model from Glasgow and she has been defying genres, genders and expectations on stages up and down the UK since 2016. You can find her bothering stages at a variety of different shows in the central belt inc cabarets, drag shows, comedy nights, spoken word events and grassroots rock gigs. ... more

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