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No Brainer

by Anna Secret Poet

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1.
'Overthinker Anthem' As the dust finally settles on an ugly afternoon Uh uh uh – uh uh uh – uh uh uh I foresee another problem so we’ll have to make some room Uh uh uh –uh uh uh – uh uh uh Every night without a break I worry myself awake What do these people think of me – do they think I’m weird or plain crazy? Did they think I looked at them funny – or was it because my nose was runny? Am I creating problems that aren’t there? Every time I’m in a crowd I’ll likely keep my head bowed I can’t bear to catch an eye – if it was misinterpreted I’d probably die I feel the world is closing in with accusing fingers and a rictus grin Am I creating problems that aren’t there? I’m crippled with paranoid envy One day I will breathe easily One day I will say I don’t care But until then know that I care far too much Every thought inside my head compels me to accept the dread But maybe everything is fine and it’s my brain that’s out of line I can’t stand the incessant tease of endless possibilities Am I creating problems that aren’t there? I’m crippled with paranoid envy One day I will breathe easily One day I will say I don’t care One day I will say I don’t care
2.
Poke the Bear Poke the bear – don’t poke the bear He may drag you to his lair Hold you in a grizzly embrace Snap your spine and eat your face Poke the bear – don’t poke the bear Your supple limbs he’d love to tear Not every bear is full of fun Not every bear is Paddington Poke the bear – don’t poke the bear Unless you’ve brought spare underwear His teeth are sharp and so are his claws He’ll separate you from your baws He may have strange bear diseases He doesn’t believe in Buddha or Jesus Humans get him so irate Cos of all the shit that they create Poke the bear – don’t poke the bear Honestly you haven’t a prayer Give it up while you still can No one would judge you if you ran How many bears have you even met? Not a single one can be your pet You wouldn’t like it of someone poked you Or bundled you into a zoo
3.
'A Week without Worry' A week without worry is a beautiful thing The best thing a week can bring The most I can hope for is a day without tears Bottle of rum and a couple of beers A week without worry is a lovely idea Seven days free of stress and fear The best I can manage is a moment alone Try and switch off my mobile phone Do you believe that this could happen? Sounds like a dream or a fantasy Do you think we could make it happen to you and me? A week without worry or sadness or pain To bask in sunshine instead of rain The most I can hope for is ignorant bliss I’d have an hour or two of this I know this won’t solve all our problems But it’s a nice thought all the same There are far worse things for which to aim
4.
B-Movie 03:03
'B-Movie' I’m a walking talking b-movie My dialogue’s not very good I’ve been given a pitiful budget And a plot that no-one understood, I’m a walking talking b-movie With a cast that cannot act I’m heading straight for VHS To make a minimal impact The score is pretty dreadful I did it on my own Wishing I was like John Carpenter With my creepy synthesizer tones I’m a walking talking b-movie A cult following at my heels One day they might remake me Don’t want to know how that feels, I’m a walking talking b-movie I have a certain rogueish charm Although most people who view me Tend to recoil in alarm There’s little hope of sequels With such limited appeal Defying genrefication With such terrifying zeal I’m a walking talking b-movie You bought while you were pissed Your friend tried to talk you out of it But you really did insist, I’m a walking talking b-movie And I revel in that claim I’m too obscure for mass-consumption I don’t need no fame
5.
'Where Does the Other Sock go?' Where does the other sock go? Millions of us want to know Was it something I said or done? Why have I so many odd ones? Gathered on the radiator Hoping to match them later Do they go to another dimension? Should I bother with their retention? Where does the other sock go? Surely someone has to know It can’t be hard cos after all Socks really aren’t that small Unless of course you are a baby Or my little sister maybe There must be a bored scientist Who can help me finally solve this So many questions – not enough answers! So many odd socks – too much confusion! Should we all just grin and wear A freakishly non-matching pair I know a lady who embraced that But I’m afraid I just can’t face that Where does the other sock go? Millions of us want to know Chaos reigns in my land of socks It’s a pity that they can’t talk And tell me what fate befell the others All their sisters and their brothers There must be a definitive reason Here’s hoping that I find out soon
6.
'Drunk Enough to Tell' What would you rather – Ignorance or backhanded compliments or something else equally dire? What do you expect – Apathy or old-fashioned bloody mindedness or the Spanish Inquisition? Said that I needed you I understand that once you may have needed me too But that’s a hard sell Even if you’re drunk enough to tell It’s never a good time When there’s been no preparation of any kind But now and then it’s good for the mind, Sometimes it’s upsetting I’ll admit that routines are not for everyone They’re something I can’t do without Every day passing through The memory of me and you Remember your mask fell! Maybe you were drunk enough to tell Friendships falling apart at the seams Like some barely remembered bad dream If I could live it again I would If I could live it again I would
7.
No Brainer 02:11
'No Brainer' You’d like to think I didn’t care There’s no way that’s true Sometimes distantly aware We’re getting older and less wiser every day I’m never wrong I’m never right I’m somewhere in between Getting more tired from the fight I need a lie down – or an excuse to get away I’m fed up with indecision (no brainer) I am tired of nine to fivin’ (somebody help me get away) I can’t stand these times we live in (no brainer) Can’t switch off although I’d like it You’d have thought I’d know by now But I never learn Hoping it will sink in somehow It’s not happening – I’m somewhere else entirely I’m fed up with indecision (no brainer) I am tired of nine to fivin’ (somebody help me disappear) I can’t stand these times we live in (no brainer) Can’t switch off although I’d like it
8.
Goth Girls 03:08
'Goth Girls' Goth girls hiding from the sun Waiting for the night to come Are you the girl of my dreams or the girl of my nightmares? Goth girls with your black cat Dressed like an undead aristocrat Leather and lace a divine combination I smile as I gaze at your pale complexion Goth girls do you realise When I gaze into your eyes I can’t remember my name or what I came here for, Goth girls I’m your biggest fan And I feel certain you understand The darkest truths that cannot be spoken The forbidden boxes we should not open Smiling at the moon under obsidian skies Hoping to make it home before sunrise Although on the surface you are black and white Underneath I know a rainbow hides Goth girls how you make me blue When I grow up I want to be like you Roaming the earth with quiet grace and distinction, Goth girls every one a gem Don’t you dare be unkind to them Just like in ‘The Craft’ or ‘Blair Witch 2’ If they so desired they’d put a hex on you Smiling at the moon under obsidian skies Hoping to make it home before sunrise Although on the surface you are black and white Underneath I know a rainbow hides
9.
'Everybody’s Checking Everybody Else Out' Everybody’s checking everybody else out Haven’t you noticed? Everybody’s checking everybody else out I’m no exception to the rule I can’t help it if I see a body I like Neither can you I can’t help it if I see a body I like Discretion is my middle name Although I can’t stop looking at you It’s like my eyes are made of glue And maybe your body is too Oh what shall we do? Everybody’s checking everybody else out Don’t feel no shame Everybody’s checking everybody else out They might even be looking at me Wanna know? Wanna know? Well maybe you don’t wanna know! Wanna know? Wanna know? Well maybe you don’t wanna You don’t wanna – you don’t wanna know! I can’t help it if I see a body I like Neither can you I can’t help it if I see a body I like It’s like a museum please don’t touch! Although I can’t stop looking at you It’s like my eyes are made of glue And maybe your body is too Oh what shall we do?
10.
'Unexpected Tenderness' On the verge of a controversial feeling I’m working real hard to conceal In a state of permanent confusion I can’t tell the fake from the real In the time it took you to convince me I’m not the man I used to be Why does it hurt so much I can’t say? When I don’t miss that part of me I keep my expectations low Although I care more than you know Unexpected tenderness Much better than emptiness I confess I’m so hard to surprise, Undiluted eagerness More fun than bitterness I’m impressed! On the cusp of an existential impasse No note of solace to be found The rush of thoughts make me uneasy As I come crashing to the ground Impossible to see it from all sides Even though it’s dancing before my eyes Unexpected tenderness Much better than emptiness I confess I’m so hard to surprise, Undiluted eagerness More fun than bitterness I’m impressed!
11.
'Temporary Smile' It’s hard when you realise That nothing really matters It’s tough when you can’t seem To get yourself heard It’s difficult to quantify Everything that happened today So I’ll flash you a temporary smile It’s hard when you realise There’s no one else behind you It’s tough when you can’t seem To get noticed It’s difficult to anticipate The next best course of action So please make do with a temporary smile Too late! There you go again Thinking there is nothing left You may be right But perhaps look a little harder I’m no expert but I’ve been around The block more than a few times And I did so with a temporary smile
12.
Shooby Don't 03:58
'Shooby Don’t' I was born inside a parody I was born in someone else’s joke With no concept of permanence I was doomed before I even spoke My first steps were unspectacular But at least they didn’t end in a fall I stomp around unaided now Hindered only by feeling so small You were made inside a mystery Wrapped tightly in an enigma And my feeble attempts to understand Well they didn’t get me very far Your manner is quite peculiar Equally attracts and it repels I’d like to know what you’re really thinking of But I’m certain you will never tell Shooby do Shooby don’t Shooby do Shooby don’t

about

Fresh for 2020 comes Anna Secret Poet's 5th full length album 'No Brainer'. Mostly recorded in the winter of 2019 between massive bouts of self-doubt and the joy of being alive. Juxtapositions abound, melodies tumble and twirl and words fight to be understood.

Check out the video for the title track on Youtube! youtu.be/sNBBlGNa_6k

credits

released April 6, 2020

Produced by Gary Ward at the Canteen, Glasgow
Written and Performed by Anna Secret Poet
Photography by Phil and Angela at Them! Images

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Anna Secret Poet Glasgow, UK

Anna Secret Poet is a genderfluid singer/songwriter and model from Glasgow and she has been defying genres, genders and expectations on stages up and down the UK since 2016. You can find her bothering stages at a variety of different shows in the central belt inc cabarets, drag shows, comedy nights, spoken word events and grassroots rock gigs. ... more

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