1. |
Stare
02:16
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'Stare'
Stare at something long enough
It loses its meaning
Stare at something hard enough
Develop feelings
I hope you don’t give up
Your endless searching
I hope you don’t give up
You will soon find it
Put off something long enough
You’ll never do it
Put off something long enough
Why don’t you go through with it?
Unless you’ve lost your nerve
You have my sympathy
I hope you don’t give up
It’s never stopped for me
Do do do…etc (x2)
Everybody has ideas
I’m sure everyone procrastinates
Everybody has wit, everybody has a clue
Even you!
Pull at something long enough
You’re bound to strain it
Pull at something hard enough
Completely drain it
I hope you’re satisfied
That is the main thing
I hope at least you tried
You are amazing
Do do do…etc (x4)
Stare at something long enough...
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2. |
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'As Long As There Are Biscuits'
I don’t know where we’re gonna go
But as long a there as biscuits
You can keep your fruit and veggies too
Cos I’d rather there were biscuits,
They could contain wafers or caramel
Maybe they are covered in chocolate as well
I don’t really mind
As long as there are biscuits
Did you ever put butter between two Digestives and
Make a biscuit sandwich?
I’d highly recommend using jam as well
So go now and make a biscuit sandwich,
Whether you dunk them in coffee or tea
I’d love for you to save a couple for me
As long as they don’t contain
Nuts or raisins…
GIVE ME JAFFA CAKES!
GIVE ME BOURBON CREAMS!
GIVE ME MALTED MILKS!
GIVE ME SHORTBREAD! (Millionaires especially)
Cakes okay but I’d swap it today for a
Pack of chocolate biscuits
They’ll be my downfall and early grave
I crave a pack of chocolate biscuits,
The make doesn’t matter – I’m not a diva
I just have a chronic biscuit fever
And the only known cure
Is several chocolate biscuits
GIVE ME JAFFA CAKES!
GIVE ME BOURBON CREAMS!
GIVE ME MALTED MILKS!
GIVE ME SHORTBREAD!
GIVE ME WAGON WHEELS!
GIVE ME BREAKAWAYS!
GIVE ME GINGER NUTS!
GIVE ME RICH TEAS!!!
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3. |
Follow/Unfollow
03:12
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'Follow/Unfollow'
Don’t get hung up on an algorithm
It’s not even the best kind of rhythm
I question the health of my digital self
Pixels ablaze with internet rage
You only use me to swell your number
What kind of selfish spell are you under?
I curse your wi-fi I hope it goes down!
I hope the wind changes and freeze frames your frown!
Aaah Follow unfollow
Aaah Follow unfollow
Don’t be upset if I suddenly block you
Although I’d be surprised if you notice
This isn’t out of malice – just politeness
Although it isn’t helping my identity crisis
Aaah Follow unfollow
Aaah Follow unfollow
Can you see me without clicking subscribe?
If you’re feeling generous throw me a like
Aaah Follow unfollow
Aaah Follow unfollow
Aaah Follow unfollow
Aaah Follow unfollow
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4. |
I Am Not A Monster
03:35
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'I Am Not A Monster!'
I’d make a rubbish zombie – I can run pretty fast
Unlike the undead of the recent past
I wouldn’t like the taste of human flesh
I’d rather have a peaceful death,
That is to say I don’t want to stalk the earth
With a bunch of my cadaver chums
Heralding the inevitable apocalypse
Where there are no lucky ones
I’d make a rubbish vampire cos I like sunshine
Although I don’t like garlic but I do drink wine
The taste of blood is boggin’ I hasten to add
Do I look like my name is Vlad?!?
I don’t really want to bite a neck
Or sleep in a coffin all day
Besides I am slightly claustrophobic
And it would render me easy to slay
I am not a monster!
This is a confessional
Kindly leave the monstering
To the hardened professionals
I’d make a shit werewolf – I’m not a canine fan
There aren’t a lot of benefits in being the Wolf Man
Though sharing a shower with Jenny Agutter…
Excuse me while I pick my mind from the gutter!
The howling at the moon I could do without
And all that body hair
The transformation part doesn’t sell it either
It looks bloody sair!
I am not a monster!
This is a confessional
Kindly leave the monstering
To the hardened professionals
I’d make a rubbish zombie and I’ll tell you why
I can never be the apple of Romero’s eye
He’s probably a zombie now ‘cause he is dead
With worms coming out of his head
I am not a monster (repeat ad nauseum)
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5. |
Vinyl Schminyl
01:12
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'Vinyl Schminyl'
This song is not going to be vinyl
Your turntable this will not grace
It’s not 7 or 10 or 12 inches in diameter
Or the size of a schoolboy’s face,
This song refuses to become a record
It will not play at 33 and a third (rpm)
The crackle, the warm hiss will simply not exist
It’s a kind of hipster revenge
I’m not going to put this out on L.P.
Your stylus will not hit this groove
You won’t have to turn it over when the side is done
So you’ll be glad to know you won’t have to move,
Although I may regret this decision
I’m prone to contradictory rants
So don’t assume that I intend to take it too far
And blow up all the pressing plants
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6. |
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'All Dressed Up & Nowhere To Go'
I found a window in my diary
Time to myself is a finite luxury
Shaved my legs and shaved my face
So bring on the satin, bring on the lace uh huh huh
I’ll draw the curtains and the blinds real tight
I don’t anyone to see me tonight
You ask me why my heels are high
And why I can’t just be a guy
Do my eyeliner with particular care
I’m getting better – now what should I wear?
The transformation is almost complete
I bet you didn’t think I could look this sweet uh huh huh
Another choice now – redhead or brunette?
I’m going to be the hottest girl you never met
I’m very grateful and feel very blessed
To get to lounge around in my favourite dress
I’ve got nowhere to go
I’ve got nowhere to go
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Anna Secret Poet Glasgow, UK
Anna Secret Poet is a genderfluid singer/songwriter and model from Glasgow and she has been defying genres, genders and expectations on stages up and down the UK since 2016. You can find her bothering stages at a variety of different shows in the central belt inc cabarets, drag shows, comedy nights, spoken word events and grassroots rock gigs. ... more
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